Procrastinators: Kings of Tomorrow.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
"We are all marionettes in this tragical masquerade; played to and suffocated by invisible strings of what others define us to be."
Yes I'm a little over-absorbed with figurative language recently. I was doing my homework yesterday night and this imagery of a marionette taunted by an evil looking shadow just came into my mind and got stuck there. So I was all "gotta.pen.something down." It's just so interesting!
Here to give some updates on my life in case anyone is wondering.. :/
Health checkup in school tomorrow (or rather, today :O).
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (groans)
I know I whine about this yearly but..
16x/17x cm people: Eh you got grow taller? How tall already? I grow xxx cm! :D :D(evil smirk)
Me: I'm still... the... same .____.
The above scenario always happens. Sigh.
Anyway sectional's resuming tomorrow. First sectional that I won't be attending ): Boohoo.
CL O's in 13 days. I used to love it like madmadmadmadmad cause I always topped the class. I have no idea what happened to my standard :/ It seems to have stopped at Secondary2/3 level T_T And I regretted rejecting the HCL offer those years ago.. Sigh, my 2 extra points.. But anyway, it's to late to regret anything now, so newspapers shall be my best companion these 2 weeks! (;
Also, had committee meeting last Saturday (May 14)! It's my last meeting ever ): I'll miss sitting beside Ningxia in our comm circle! I remember how back in sec2/3 when we were both SLs, we would whisper to each other our little opinions that we were too afraid to voice out :3 Now we share pillows, biscuits and sleeping bags-turned-blankets in the cold, cold CO room :D
I've realised that I actually like these meetings :X Yes, we still get judged, but I like having a platform for me to verbalize myself to people who actually listen and make fair decisions. I still remember how in sec2 my impression of meetings was: "Oh shit, time to get scolded. (starts thinking of all the things I haven't done well)" and then sec3, "Oh meeting again :O Oh okay, I wonder what they're gonna talk about :O". Now that I'm a sec4.. "NO MORE MEETINGS?! T____T".
CCHYCO has given me so much that I think it's an honour that I'm able to give back to them by planning celebrations, making cards, etc etc. And though we always complain about how impromptu our tasks are given, how pocket-hurting they are, how inconvenient for us to plan things through SMSes/MSN as we aren't free to meet up, it's always satisfying to see that you've planted a smile on their faces, the glee on their faces when you suddenly bring out a cake, candles and everything checked. At the end of the day, through all the hard work, their happiness makes the fatigues of the process worthwhile.
Sigh, goodbye, welfare comm ):
The 13th of May was our dear Form Teacher, Ms Angelia Wong's birthday! :D 4E celebrated for her by making this awesome scrap book whereby everyone was given a page to write their dedications on and we surprised her with an awesome cake. I can't repeat this more, but I really really like it when I've somehow, be it directly or indirectly, put a smile on someone's face. It makes me happy as well. If CCHYCO is the best thing that has ever happened in my life, being part of 4E is second. I'm sure I'll miss all my classmates and how they make boring lessons fun.
How Liren & Abqari make racist jokes towards each other, how we always bully Zhuangpeng and his doggy-ness and the guys would just shout "ZP later we send you back to SPCA then you know!" in the middle of the lessons, how we make fun of Jeremy and his proclaimed "not-dumb"-ness, how I sit near Tiakhock and get entertained by his lame comments, how Joey, Wanteng and I disturb each other by giving spastic expressions out of nowhere, how Cynthia gets too talkative sometimes and some will shout "EH SHUT UP LAH, NOISY!", and although I hate to admit it, how Chuting always contribute to the entertainment of many by hiding my bag/phone/pencil case/wallet/my belongings in general so that I will search high and low in my attempts to reclaim them.
I love being with 4E'11. Our weird but effective way of communicating conducted via banters and endless teasings never fail to make laughter ensue in the middle of a class. To others we may seem like a nonchalent, ignorant and lazy class, but deep down all of us know that we have a common goal and an important person we must never disappoint. Although we might be uncooperative and unsporting at times, I know that if I have a problem and if I voice it out, there will be people supporting me, no matter how close or not I may be to them. We are a class that's been through a lot and have learned to appreciate each other. And that is why I love my classmates. I can't imagine me being anywhere else. #grateful
Lastly, on May 12th, 7J, who are btw Jamie, Jasmine, Jiaee, Judy, Jingkang, Junxiong and Jiamin (dear Ziyue, you are being referred to as "Judy" here. I'm doing you a favour, imagine if I typed 6J1Z you'll look like an extra! ;P) went out together to celebrate our Jamie's birthday :D I hate how I always fail at planning surprises T___T I don't know if these friends of mine are too smart or what, but everytime I try, they will be like "Eh you too obvious!", "3 year old also know what you planning to do", "You think I'm stupid?!?!?" D: So anyway, we went to Just Acia for an awesome looooooong lunch and proceeded to East Coast Park to cycle.
I swear we disrupted the peace of Just Acia. We were all talking & joking happily until this moment whereby somehow we just stopped laughing and they were all "see how quiet it is when we don't talk?" & "omg we created so much noise" so we tried our luck at 1minute of silence. Which btw, failed miserably as Jiaee and Jasmine started poking each other and we tried to suppress our laughter which well, resulted in more noise ._. Round 2 was 3 minutes of silence! This time round no one poked anyone but Bear phone-napped me so we spent 3 minutes chasing each other round a pillar with me making noises which sounded like a cat being strangled. I was trying to go "arghhhhhhhh" without opening my mouth but attracted much unwanted attention ._. And I really cannot stand Jingkang, ass tried to make a joke out of everything I've said T_T
Tried to surprise Jamie with a Brownie cake as well :D Ohoho I hope she liked it :3 There was this extra piece of cake left and nobody wanted it, so we sliced it up into 7 pieces and played number bomb to get rid of it. Jiaee went to pour some ice cream onto the Brownies so yeah, it looked kind of disgusting because along the way they were making jokes like "we needed 2 days to make this cake! so constipated now!", "I SAT IN THE TOILET FOR XXX DAYS!", "I feel so comfortable after xx days of constipation." YES HAVE THAT IMAGE IN YOUR MIND THEN THINK OF ICE CREAM ON BROWNIES!
Affects your appetite, no? :/ Btw poor me had to eat 3 out of 7 slices of those things cause well.. my plan in trying to cut the numbers at a faster rate backfired on me :/
Went cycling afterwards! Elaboration some other day cause it's late and I wanna sleep hualalalala. But I really love cycling! It's so fun ^^
Ending this post with a song I'm addicted to these days.
Unhearted - Automatic Loveletter
"Sweet, red cheery blossom tree, that lives in both you and me. You marked your name but I can see, it's not on me."
Thinking of removing my tagboard soon. What's with my colour combination and the weird spams, LOL.
Goodnight everyone! Have a nice day :)
CCHYCO: Not just an orchestra but a big, warm family.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Forewarning: text heavy.
18 April 2011
"It's tomorrow already? This feels like a dream... I don't feel well prepared! Oh my god what if I screw up tomorrow?! No, no, I cannot think this way. 79 other members have been working hard with me. I must not let them down." On this day, CCHYCO had their last official combined practice before the big day.
It was the final rehearsal at the Singapore Conference Hall. Zhaolaoshi bought ultra sweet apples for us! :) The duration we were allowed on stage was short and everyone was holding on tightly onto Time, not letting a single second slip by. This was the last lap. Everyone on stage knew it. This is it.
Tomorrow, we either make it or break it.
(side track: I gave Yizhen her birthday present after 10 months. Oops.)
19 April 2011
Woke up in the morning with every single cell in my body feeling excited. Saw Fongteng on the bus and we went to school together! :) Went for morning assembly in our full dress. Was extremely touched by school mates who wished us good luck! :D CO members proceeded to the MPH straight after morning assembly for one last practice.
I left Jiaying a note on her Sheng and she gave me a scrap book, personally made by her! We went our separate ways afterwards to read our individual letters. Upon reading her letter, I felt sad. This junior of mine was obviously an angel in disguise. God sent. I felt so proud of her, how much she has grown through the slightly over a year duration that she has been my zhongyinsheng partner. And then suddenly... she ran towards me, we hugged each other and cried. This will probably be the last time I'll be fighting on stage with the younger members of CCHYCO before I step down.
We practiced for one last time, and I had this feeling that we will make it on stage later. Confidence? Not really. More like trust in every member of our orchestra. Trusting that we'll all be giving our utmost. Right then, I didn't only believed in our skills. I believed in our bond, our spirit, our common goal, our music.
I believed in my second family, headed by our Papa Zhao.
After the last practice, we knew that we won't be given the chance to make any alterations anymore. We went for an early lunch and to calm ourselves down.
Yanxu took it into his hands to style the hair of every male in CCHYCO! Almost every guy had their hair spammed with gel/wax/whatever hairstyling device. And yes, maybe it's due to the hype of crossing the finishing line in a few hours, I thought that all of them looked super shuai. Especially Jacky & Jingkang! (/section suonasheng biased). No joke, Boh and I sat behind our shengs and squealed over their hairstyles like those typical fangirls. The cello guys looked like a gang of bad boys afterwards (especially Eugene!), though Yupeng's didn't really suit his jester-like image. Thanks to our awesome hairstylist (; SEE, OUR CO GUYS ARE MANLY OKAY! :D /cue in-your-face expression
Took photos with some people afterwards and moved instruments to the foyer. Boh and I were feeling apprehensive as the teachers had insisted our zhongyinshengs aka war weapons were to be moved to SCH via the boot of Wanglaoshi's car. But once again, we could only believe in the judgement of our teachers.
Reached SCH one hour before our supposed reporting time so we had time to practice by ourselves. I saw the amount of people and I freaked out. My nerves got the better of me. Got reassured by the constant encouragements from Liulaoshi :) Time crawled by. Boh and I + some other people crowded around the speaker outside the cargo lift to listen to other schools. It seemed like forever before we could proceed to the tuning room. One last practice before the actual thing! (however our shengs were waiting to be moved at the lift area so Boh, Zetong and I didn't get to practice with them D:)
And then the time came for us to go onto stage.
I would be lying if I told you I wasn't nervous. I was freaking out initially, the sheng stand SCO provided was taller than expected and I was quickly pushing my pipe downwards to make it shorter to suit my height. I was shaking all over. Again questions filled me. What if I screw up? What if I let these people down? What if, what if, what if?
Zhaolaoshi's conductor baton was raised. The sprint towards the finishing line had begun.
Initially at the opening of our set piece, I panicked and forgot my chords for about 2 bars. When I caught myself, I realised that I simply didn't care anymore. Nerves? What are they? I moved to our music. I performed to our spirit and bond. The notes just came naturally, like they were a part of us. The feeling is indescribable. I forgot what I was doing. Flashbacks flooded my entire self: the Journey, how we fought together, the warmth we shared. The overwhelming feeling you get after the realisation of everything and anything. That's when you really understand that it's truly the Journey that mattered. That few minutes, every one of us were connected by the heart, connected to Zhaolaoshi. It's when we're on stage, sharing the pride with 80 other people that we realise, breathing together with everyone else is not impossible. Before I knew it, Yanxu sang the finishing line of our choice piece, Empress Earth.
A few beats later, it was over.
All these months of preparation, in exchange for just a few minutes of glory on stage, bathing in the spotlights. Those few minutes came through much anticipation, but were gone like the wind. Zoomed past us. Quickly. At lightning speed.
I had no idea why, but I felt like crying. I remember hugging random people and simply just crying out. We all uttered the same things into the ears of each other.
"我们做到了。"
These 5 simple words held so much meaning. We, 81 individuals, have crossed the finishing line together. Not as an orchestra. But as a family, hand in hand. These 5 words were able to trigger so much emotion from the depths of our members there and then.
2 years ago, those tears were of happiness and relief. 2 years later, there was a new essence in those droplets oozing from the edge of my eyes. Sadness. The end of our last note of Houtu marked the end of my Journey with CCHYCO.
From then on, I knew. I will never be able to fight alongside CCHYCO with a common goal anymore. To us, the graduating batch, our chapter ends here.
Saying that CCHYCO is the best thing that has ever happened to me is even an understatement. Before joining, I never truly believed in the power of unity. I didn't know I could be so bonded, so together with people from different classes, different levels, different ages. Before the 2009 SYF, I didn't believe that we could perform on stage and simply just enjoy ourselves. 2 years later, at the Chinese Orchestra SYF 2011, I experienced that miracle again. It's like magic: it only happens if you believe in it.
Thank you, my second family. For teaching me how to love, for giving me the chance to experience these emotions, for letting me know that there will be a place where I will always belong to. In CCHYCO, I found my refuge, my haven. I don't believe that there is anyone at all who've regretted participating in this long run with us.
However, it's time to let go now. It's time to leave things to our juniors. We have to leave to do what we should now: to study for our O's.
Sometimes it's really when we've reached the destination and looked back on our journey that we realise how much we've grown throughout.
We returned to school, feeling happy and invincible. I also felt super happy and proud when Junhong asked how many are confident of attaining Gold with Honours and most juniors had their hands up. My smile could've reached my ears then. We packed our bags, sat around and waited for Jiaee to conduct her last debrief.
Our sweet juniors surprised us with a cake! And they said "Thank you sec fours and fives!" together. Indeed, we were all extremely touched :) Also, the juniors were assigned to give a letter of appreciation to us, the sec4s and 5s. Liwen was assigned to me! :D
Sigh, I'm really happy that I have such wonderful juniors.. Always looking out for me, acting like younger brothers and sisters, making me laugh, making me happy. Weizhen says we're the roots of her confidence. However to me, they are the reason I keep fighting on, because their hard work made me realise that I'm never alone in this web we're caught in. They're like the personification of my optimism and hope.
At the end of the day, there are people who are sad, there are people who are happy. But whatever our emotions, we know they are there because of our common love towards our orchestra.
Went for dinner & desserts with my second-family members :) And then Jiaee & Ziyue started crying again ): All of us, we really can't bear to leave this place.. For the whole duration afterwards, I simply felt like I was walking on air. I didn't want to go back home. I wanted to spend as much time as possible with these people who played such a crucial part in my growing up..
20 April 2011
Do you remember?
华乐团编号5：中正中学（义顺）， 荣誉金！
That was two years ago.
We brought back our first honour with 西北组曲第四乐章：石板腰鼓 & 蝉歌.
We felt sparks fly; we cried tears of joy.
Sounds cheesy, but on this day two years ago, I started believing in miracles. I can never, ever forget this day. How to the young and innocent me back then, the first Gold with Honours we earned presented me with so much hope & opportunities.
Heizozo, always.
2 years later, it's different people, different songs. The stage remains the same, the orchestra is still the same welcoming home I joined.
21 April 2011
Orchestra 15: Chung Cheng High School Yishun Chinese Orchestra.
GOLD WITH HONOURS
Need I say more?
(*note: will edit this part of the post later on. so much more to elaborate on <3)
CCHYCO is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
Memories of a lifetime.
Friday, April 15, 2011
So proud of CCHYCO <3.
Seriously, it doesn't matter to me now which school comes before or after us... SYF might be a competition in name, but what's important is that we walked through this Journey together, not as individuals, not as sections, but as one orchestra. We breathe into our music together. We laugh together, we cry together. We climb together, we fall together.
People may lose faith, poisonous tongues may wag, others may look down upon us.
But I don't care. In my heart, we are already the best.
I love it. Before CCHYCO, I've felt nothing like this before.
I didn't know the joy of fighting together with a team. Heck, I didn't even know the wondrous feeling of being part of a team.
It's full dress rehearsal tomorrow! I hope lots and lots of alumnis come back to visit and watch us. I sincerely hope that we've made them proud.. And that they are able to say "I was part of them! CCHYCO!" without hesitating. I hope I would be able to say that in the future too.
Btw here's the epitome of anticlimax.
1) We have to return to school after SYF on Tuesday night to keep the partitions in the MPH back.
2) I have an AMaths test on Thursday. Before the release of the SYF results.
3) I have a chem lecture after the AMaths test!!! -____- Being optimistic, at least it's Mr Chang who's conducting it.
And I'm going to end this post in an anticlimax manner. Sorry.
Like.
Now.
Bye.
The Cat Clan.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Just had to update so that I'll be able to remember this amazing day even years later (;
Went out with Jingwen, Jiaying and Aixiang after sports day to AMK today! I love spending time with them. I think it's really amazing, cause when Jiaying and Aixiang just came into CO, there was this definite & distinctive formal line seperating Jingwen & I away from them. Seniors VS Juniors. They're like my sisters that I do really love & care for dearly now.
Raced against time by running from Yishun Stadium to Khatib MRT, reaching extra quick but still had to wait for Pampered Boh, got stalked by 3 monsters, tried escaping from them, succeeded, bought Koi, fell down, cabbed back to school. Slot the inside jokes, running, trust and love in between. <3
Loving combined too! Doodled with Jiaying on a scrap book. We're going to make a scrap book and exchange with each other one day before SYF.
----
All these treasured memories, I wouldn't trade them for anything.
Lucky.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Received news that there will be no more MOECO camp from this year onwards, which means that I'm from the last batch! T_T Overheard from the batch 17 facebook page that "MOE changed direction" so I'm rather upset.. ); No more batch 18, 19, 20, 21... etc, which means my juniors won't be able to experience the joy I felt! D:
Random much, cause I attended SYCO's concert yesterday and met up with wonderful batch 17s! Like Jolene, Hsienhean, Sulwyn, Darren, etc. I find it heartwarming that although it's been around 10 months since we've graduated from the camp, there's still this kind of bond there, even though we haven't seen or interacted with each other for so long.
Take group 4 for example, sometimes we'll just randomly have group chats after a looooong time of no connection at all, but there's hardly a moment whereby the chat window will come to a standstill -- every one just keeps talking and talking about everything and anything, like friends that have known each other for decades, rather than friends who've only interacted for 5 days face to face. Not to mention we've only had one day of group activities.
And then there was yesterday. How Sulwyn, Aaron and Junsian came out of stage after the performance and some batch 17s just automatically gathered for a group photo. Jiaee, Ziyue, me, Jolene, Hsienhean, Darren, Sulwyn, Aaron, Ce Shun. Initially I was wondering why Junsian wasn't in the photo, then I realised that he took the photo for us. Wasted much. Felt super happy nontheless (; Saw some people like Adrian and Yuka! But they were with their school so I daren't approach them and say hi -__- Caught Xiaohan, my super pro ZYS partner during the camp who is a super friendly person and a good friend! She looked so pretty on stage man.
Anyway I'm a fan of SYCO! They are so awesomeeeeee omg.
I'm really not looking forward to SYF these few days..
Cause once SYF is over, that'll mean I'll have to step down.. NOOOO I DON'T WANT TO D: D: D: D: D: